It. Is. Finished.

We are missing our oldest daughter in this picture, but here everyone finally has the same last name!

Today was Forever Day. We went to see the judge to finalize our adoption. It's amazing...three and a half minutes in the judge's chambers and our lives are changed forever. Their old case worker wasn't part of the case but she came to see the kids anyway, to tell them she is happy for them. I'm sure the life of a case worker is emotionally draining sometimes. I hope seeing kids get families confirms that what they do is worth the hard work.

I titled this post the way I did because we are so thankful that "the process" is over. No more DHS, no more case workers, no more asking permission to take them out of the county...it's done. We do know, however that the real work on our part has just begun. :)

Our kids have changed their names. We now have Hannah Elizabeth and Nathanael Thomas. (Nate chose Thomas because he is a big fan of Thomas the Train.)

Thank you to those who have prayed with us regarding this adoption. It is truly an amazing thing that has happened. The Lord has done great things for us, And we are glad. ~Psalm 126

Down, flesh!

It has been a while since I last blogged; four weeks since we became a family of seven people.

Amidst the mountains of laundry, the constant meal preparation and the daily need to buy more milk, we are discovering so much about who we are, who the new ones are, and how to integrate them into our family. They are eager to become "one of us," but also struggle with knowing who they are. It seems that if one of them is hungry, the other one is. If one gets a hug, the other wants one. If one gets a compliment, the other points out that he or she is equally significant.

This keeps me in a battle between flesh and spirit. My spirit aches along with them, understanding their constant need for attention and affirmation. With all they have been through, it's no wonder. My flesh, on the other hand, wants them to stop demanding, stop performing, get their own ideas, develop their own identities, stop TALKING so much!!

And so, I am leaning on the Lord. I tell my flesh to settle down. I ask my spirit, which contains the Lord's spirit, to step in with love, compassion, patience, guidance and more patience. I know once they feel secure here, once they know that this really is a forever family, they will settle in to their identities. They will be able to bear the other receiving attention without demanding their own. They won't feel the need to keep checking the boundaries, keep checking whether they are loved.

My prayer is that they will feel it deep down in their souls. I see their desire to belong, to do right, to be okay with silence. I really see it when I have my Jesus eyes on.

Lord, keep my eyes on you so that I may see them as you do. Please don't let my flesh win. Please don't allow my to be a source of further pain. They have had enough for now.

And then there were five...

When we originally started the adoption process, we just thought we would get one child. However, when we decided to go the DHS route, we soon discovered that the majority of kids in foster care are part of a sibling group. So, we decided to say that we would take "up to" three children. We really felt like we were supposed to have a group of two, but we prepared for three, just in case. When Nathanael came to us, we knew he had a sister named Alexis, but were told she was dangerous and we should avoid her at all cost. So, we had him, but felt that somehow we were supposed to have one more. One day I got a call from Alexis' foster mom, who begged us to meet Alexis. She said that what we had been told had either been greatly exaggerated, or was now being managed by counseling and medication. We decided that it was the right thing to do to give Alexis a chance. We have now had three visits with her and she is really a doll. I can see the fire in her eyes that tells me we are going to have our challenges, but we have prayed long and hard and decided that she is the final piece to our family puzzle. When Nathanael grows up, how could we look him in the eye and tell him he could have been with his sister, but she just would have been too much work? These sweet children have some struggles and we are sure when Alexis comes to stay it will be uncomfortable around here for a while, but most of their behavioral issues are a result of trying to survive. Nathanael has changed so much in the two months we have had him, and I know Alexis will do the same. What they really need is a forever family who will love them through their struggles and point them to Jesus. Alexis means "Defender of Mankind." We will name her Hannah, which means "Grace of God." She will be Hannah Alexis, who will receive and give the Grace of God, and who will be a Defender of Manknd. Praise God!

Listen to Him

Aiden is now named Nathanael. When we finalize the adoption, his name will officially change. For now, we're just calling him that and getting him used to it. He wasn't thrilled at first, but when he realized he could be "Nate the Great," he warmed up to it. :)

He had never been to church until he came to live with us and it has been fun introducing him to our Lord. Usually, he acts pretty bored in church and we are not sure how much he is actually absorbing. The other day, our pastor highlighted a passage from Matthew 17. While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to Him!"

All of a sudden, Nathanael said (out loud), "Listen to Him." Yes! Listen to Him! I whispered, "Listen to who?" Nate didn't know, so I explained that we listen to Jesus.

How cool is that? The very first words that he grabbed on to were, "Listen to Him." I would say that he's well on his way to a good relationship with the Lord. If he can get that listening thing down, he will do well in life. I am still working on listening to Him.

It was a great reminder that even a little child can understand. We pray that this simple concept will be the foundation on which he will build his relationship with the Lord.

It's good advice for all of us, spoken from the very mouth of the Father. Listen to Him!

Aiden has added...

...some fun little things like this

that we haven't seen around here in a long time.

The Men

Three Little Men

+

playing outside most of the day

+

showers and baths

=

lots of dirt in the bottom of the tub.

Here's another one just for fun.

I love that my husband is a cowboy.

Could this be for real?

Children from the system have attachment disorders. Children from the system struggle with school. Children from the system are insecure. Children from the system fight you and fling poo.

This is what we heard. This is what we expected. This is what we were prepared and willing to deal with.

Aiden is loving and huggy. He likes to sit in our laps, but not for too long because he has things he wants to play with. However, if he gets hurt, he will curl up in our laps and put his head on our shoulders, just like all our other kids.

Aiden is super smart. There is a minor speech impediment (the result of chronic ear infections--if you can't hear, you can't speak correctly), but that is correctible with some speach therapy. He knows his letters, his numbers and the make and model of every car we pass on the road. I am not anticipating trouble with school.

Aiden is far from insecure. He definitely has his opinions, but is also willing to submit to authority when he realizes it's for his benefit. He doesn't speak (much) of monsters in the closet or bad dreams. If we turn the hall light on at night, he is happy as a clam to roll over and go to sleep. He knows who his family is and is friendly to those who belong to other families.

As far as fighting and flinging poo...we are told he used to do that. We will forever be grateful to the foster family who loved him for the past two years and taught him to express his feelings with words, to sit in time out, and to keep the poo in the toilet. They were truly a gift to Aiden and to us. He resists time-out as most four-year olds do, but we do not see violence or behavior that is inconsistent with a "normal" kid his age.

We keep marveling at the fact that kids like this just don't come out of the system. We are almost waiting for the proverbial "other shoe" to drop.

Well, maybe kids like this DO come from the system occasionally. Maybe once in a while there is a good social worker who places the child with a good foster family. Maybe once in a while God has a really tight grip on a child as he prepares that child to join a "forever family."

Maybe we were called to be willing to deal with the issues we mentioned above, and maybe the Lord gave us the sweet surprise of Aiden as a blessing for our obedience.

I don't know what the future holds for all of us, but what I do know is that God is faithful during the "easy" times and God is faithful during the "hard" times. We are grateful for this relatively easy transition and know it is not the "norm" with these types of adoptions. We will continue to hold Aiden's hand as God holds ours.

The Honeymoon is OVER!

...at least it seems to be for him.

We are on Day 2 of "not-so-nice" behavior. He has broken things, yelled at people, said, "Shut up" and now I am pretending not to see as he has a little tantrum in the time-out chair.

Thankfully, I know that he is testing where the boundaries are. He is testing to see if we will send him away. He is testing to see if we really do love him. It is because we do love him and want him to feel safe that we will remain firm with the boundaries.

I knew this was coming. I am not getting emotional about it.

I'm so thankful other friends who have adopted and shared their discipline stories with me. It tells me this is "normal" and that it will get better.

Patience...

Pleasant surprises

We went and picked up Aiden yesterday. It was to be a trial overnight visit. We expected tears at bedtime. We expected he would want to go "home."

Bedtime came and we read some books and sang some songs and he drifted off to sleep talking about Buzz Lightyear. He awakened once in the night with tears, but we settled him down and he went right back to sleep.

This morning Aiden woke up full of smiles asking, "Is it morning time?"

Pancakes, playing in the snow, playing in the house...

Foster parents requested we come get his stuff today. It is too hard to dread saying goodbye. Husband went and got Aiden's things.

We expected Aiden to stress out when he saw his things arriving. We thought he would start to process the fact that he was staying...

Aiden only asked, "Who is going to bring my toys?" We assured them they were in the truck.

We got permission for him to stay here through the weekend, but I told the social workers we intended to keep him forever. She seemed fine with it.

It's nearing bedtime again and so far Aiden seems to like us. He seems to be accepting the fact that this is his home. My mom always said, "Home is where your stuff is." Aiden seems to agree.

I pray that soon Aiden will know that HOME is where the LOVE is. :)

It's finally raining

God places the lonely in families... Psalm 68:6a

It rained yesterday. Our name was on the authorization sheet and we got the call that we were authorized for a little four-year-old boy named Aiden. Our social worker was telling me when I could come down and see his file, mentioning when she would be out of the office. I told her, "I'm on my way." Husband met me there and we ready through his file together.

It is clear that God has had his hand on this little guy from the beginning. He has suffered, but it is not nearly as bad as what some kids in the system experience. We are thankful for that. I know the transition for a "forever family" will still be a tough one, but the Lord has shielded him from any major trauma or abuse.

We signed the paperwork indicating we want to move forward with visitation. The social workers called the foster family and they wanted us to come over right away. So, within the hour, we were with our new son.

The visit went well and tonight he is going to come spend the night with us. We will gradually ease him into life as one of us. I imagine it is going to be quite confusing for him when it clicks that he is being moved from the only home he can remember. The foster parents want to remain as grandparents, but I am sure he will miss them terribly on a day-to-day basis.

We are praying for a smooth transition. We are praying for his heart to be open to us. We want him to feel secure and loved in our home.

I am sure there are tears ahead for all of us, but the Lord has called us here and orchestrated the events, so he will be faithful to us in whatever the future holds.

Praise the Lord!!

Forecast

For those of you who follow this blog (both of you) and wondering about our adoption, we are still in the waiting process. Each month there is an "authorization sheet" that is approved and submitted. It is a list of families and children who have been matched for adoption. The families are "authorized" to meet with the child/ren and pursue adoption of that child or children. Our name has not been on one yet. The next one is due out in the middle of February. I believe our name will be there.

Things are happening behind the scenes. I'm sure of it. Check back mid-February and hopefully there will be happy news posted here. Thanks for praying for us.

Drip...

It sprinkled a little today. :)

Still Preparing for Rain

There might be a dark cloud in the sky. There might even be a rumbling of thunder. It's not raining yet, but we probably need to invest in some raincoats. Stay tuned!

Preparing for Rain

They say that if you pray for rain, you should carry an umbrella. Well, we spent the weekend rearranging the boys' closet. We installed another area for hanging clothes and bought organizers to increase storage space.

It costs a lot of money to prepare to add people to your home. At least when you have a baby, you know about what time the new little one will arrive. With adoption, we just prepare and wait.

So...our paperwork is up-to-date, the room is ready, clothes are in the closet, toys are on the shelf...our umbrella is open and we are just looking to the sky hoping to see rain clouds rolling in...

Fun

A friend, Lisa, took some pictures of our family over Thanksgiving.

We had about 20 minutes to prepare,

but we managed to pull it together.

This is my favorite:

Not gonna happen...at least for now

Something about a legal technicality and the judge having to send the boys back to their mom until she messes up again...we are heartbroken; for ourselves and for the boys who are returning to a situation that is not good for them. Please pray for them.

Each time my mind moves into the realm of "never," I remind myself that God is faithful and never late. I wish he would hurry up, but it's not my timing that matters.

In the meantime, He continues to comfort us with his peace, with his presence, and with reminders that he alone knows the future. We must trust our Daddy. He will bring it to pass when the fullness of time has come.

Out of the blue

I haven't blogged in quite a while. There has been nothing to tell, except, "We're still waiting."

We have a friend who has two adopted children. One was located by her aunt who lives in another state. Our friend sent us a message the other day that said her aunt knew of two little boys who needed a home. I called her aunt and she is doing some legwork to see if we can get these little boys to Oklahoma. It would not be complicated, but would definitely be a "God-thing" if it happened.

I am trying not to get too excited. Please pray for these little guys (8 & 5). Please also pray that if it is God's will, they will come to live with us. We should know more next week, so stay tuned...

On another note, here are some fun family pictures, taken by Lisa Williams.

Who knew?

Today is the eighteenth anniversary of my first date with my husband. It's also my sister-in-law's thirtieth birthday. I know because before our first date, my (soon-to-be) husband said, "We can't go yet. I have to call my sister and tell her 'happy birthday.' She's turning twelve!"

So, happy thirtieth, sister-in-law. I didn't know I'd end up marrying this guy and I didn't know I'd end up loving you so much. September 13th will always be a special day for me. I am thankful for you both!

Praying

I find myself praying a lot lately. I'm praying that the right things will happen, that I will be patient with the Lord, that a friend's house will sell, that I will trust my authorities.

I also find that the things I pray are not necessarily the desires of my heart. I don't want the "right things" to happen...I want my way. I don't want to be patient...I want decisions now. I don't want my friend's house to sell...because that means she'll move away. I don't want to trust my authorities...what if they make the wrong decision?

I also find that as I pray for God's will, not mine, there is great peace there. God is sovreign. I know that's true. If I really, really believe that, then I can trust that He knows the right way to answer my prayers. So, I pray His will instead of my own.

Maybe that's what the psalmist meant when he penned these words:

Delight yourself also in the Lord, And he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Maybe He's changing my desires as I pray in obedience.

May Not

We didn't get selected this month. Discouraged.