It. Is. Finished.

We are missing our oldest daughter in this picture, but here everyone finally has the same last name!

Today was Forever Day. We went to see the judge to finalize our adoption. It's amazing...three and a half minutes in the judge's chambers and our lives are changed forever. Their old case worker wasn't part of the case but she came to see the kids anyway, to tell them she is happy for them. I'm sure the life of a case worker is emotionally draining sometimes. I hope seeing kids get families confirms that what they do is worth the hard work.

I titled this post the way I did because we are so thankful that "the process" is over. No more DHS, no more case workers, no more asking permission to take them out of the county...it's done. We do know, however that the real work on our part has just begun. :)

Our kids have changed their names. We now have Hannah Elizabeth and Nathanael Thomas. (Nate chose Thomas because he is a big fan of Thomas the Train.)

Thank you to those who have prayed with us regarding this adoption. It is truly an amazing thing that has happened. The Lord has done great things for us, And we are glad. ~Psalm 126

Down, flesh!

It has been a while since I last blogged; four weeks since we became a family of seven people.

Amidst the mountains of laundry, the constant meal preparation and the daily need to buy more milk, we are discovering so much about who we are, who the new ones are, and how to integrate them into our family. They are eager to become "one of us," but also struggle with knowing who they are. It seems that if one of them is hungry, the other one is. If one gets a hug, the other wants one. If one gets a compliment, the other points out that he or she is equally significant.

This keeps me in a battle between flesh and spirit. My spirit aches along with them, understanding their constant need for attention and affirmation. With all they have been through, it's no wonder. My flesh, on the other hand, wants them to stop demanding, stop performing, get their own ideas, develop their own identities, stop TALKING so much!!

And so, I am leaning on the Lord. I tell my flesh to settle down. I ask my spirit, which contains the Lord's spirit, to step in with love, compassion, patience, guidance and more patience. I know once they feel secure here, once they know that this really is a forever family, they will settle in to their identities. They will be able to bear the other receiving attention without demanding their own. They won't feel the need to keep checking the boundaries, keep checking whether they are loved.

My prayer is that they will feel it deep down in their souls. I see their desire to belong, to do right, to be okay with silence. I really see it when I have my Jesus eyes on.

Lord, keep my eyes on you so that I may see them as you do. Please don't let my flesh win. Please don't allow my to be a source of further pain. They have had enough for now.

And then there were five...

When we originally started the adoption process, we just thought we would get one child. However, when we decided to go the DHS route, we soon discovered that the majority of kids in foster care are part of a sibling group. So, we decided to say that we would take "up to" three children. We really felt like we were supposed to have a group of two, but we prepared for three, just in case. When Nathanael came to us, we knew he had a sister named Alexis, but were told she was dangerous and we should avoid her at all cost. So, we had him, but felt that somehow we were supposed to have one more. One day I got a call from Alexis' foster mom, who begged us to meet Alexis. She said that what we had been told had either been greatly exaggerated, or was now being managed by counseling and medication. We decided that it was the right thing to do to give Alexis a chance. We have now had three visits with her and she is really a doll. I can see the fire in her eyes that tells me we are going to have our challenges, but we have prayed long and hard and decided that she is the final piece to our family puzzle. When Nathanael grows up, how could we look him in the eye and tell him he could have been with his sister, but she just would have been too much work? These sweet children have some struggles and we are sure when Alexis comes to stay it will be uncomfortable around here for a while, but most of their behavioral issues are a result of trying to survive. Nathanael has changed so much in the two months we have had him, and I know Alexis will do the same. What they really need is a forever family who will love them through their struggles and point them to Jesus. Alexis means "Defender of Mankind." We will name her Hannah, which means "Grace of God." She will be Hannah Alexis, who will receive and give the Grace of God, and who will be a Defender of Manknd. Praise God!

Listen to Him

Aiden is now named Nathanael. When we finalize the adoption, his name will officially change. For now, we're just calling him that and getting him used to it. He wasn't thrilled at first, but when he realized he could be "Nate the Great," he warmed up to it. :)

He had never been to church until he came to live with us and it has been fun introducing him to our Lord. Usually, he acts pretty bored in church and we are not sure how much he is actually absorbing. The other day, our pastor highlighted a passage from Matthew 17. While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to Him!"

All of a sudden, Nathanael said (out loud), "Listen to Him." Yes! Listen to Him! I whispered, "Listen to who?" Nate didn't know, so I explained that we listen to Jesus.

How cool is that? The very first words that he grabbed on to were, "Listen to Him." I would say that he's well on his way to a good relationship with the Lord. If he can get that listening thing down, he will do well in life. I am still working on listening to Him.

It was a great reminder that even a little child can understand. We pray that this simple concept will be the foundation on which he will build his relationship with the Lord.

It's good advice for all of us, spoken from the very mouth of the Father. Listen to Him!

Aiden has added...

...some fun little things like this

that we haven't seen around here in a long time.

The Men

Three Little Men

+

playing outside most of the day

+

showers and baths

=

lots of dirt in the bottom of the tub.

Here's another one just for fun.

I love that my husband is a cowboy.

Could this be for real?

Children from the system have attachment disorders. Children from the system struggle with school. Children from the system are insecure. Children from the system fight you and fling poo.

This is what we heard. This is what we expected. This is what we were prepared and willing to deal with.

Aiden is loving and huggy. He likes to sit in our laps, but not for too long because he has things he wants to play with. However, if he gets hurt, he will curl up in our laps and put his head on our shoulders, just like all our other kids.

Aiden is super smart. There is a minor speech impediment (the result of chronic ear infections--if you can't hear, you can't speak correctly), but that is correctible with some speach therapy. He knows his letters, his numbers and the make and model of every car we pass on the road. I am not anticipating trouble with school.

Aiden is far from insecure. He definitely has his opinions, but is also willing to submit to authority when he realizes it's for his benefit. He doesn't speak (much) of monsters in the closet or bad dreams. If we turn the hall light on at night, he is happy as a clam to roll over and go to sleep. He knows who his family is and is friendly to those who belong to other families.

As far as fighting and flinging poo...we are told he used to do that. We will forever be grateful to the foster family who loved him for the past two years and taught him to express his feelings with words, to sit in time out, and to keep the poo in the toilet. They were truly a gift to Aiden and to us. He resists time-out as most four-year olds do, but we do not see violence or behavior that is inconsistent with a "normal" kid his age.

We keep marveling at the fact that kids like this just don't come out of the system. We are almost waiting for the proverbial "other shoe" to drop.

Well, maybe kids like this DO come from the system occasionally. Maybe once in a while there is a good social worker who places the child with a good foster family. Maybe once in a while God has a really tight grip on a child as he prepares that child to join a "forever family."

Maybe we were called to be willing to deal with the issues we mentioned above, and maybe the Lord gave us the sweet surprise of Aiden as a blessing for our obedience.

I don't know what the future holds for all of us, but what I do know is that God is faithful during the "easy" times and God is faithful during the "hard" times. We are grateful for this relatively easy transition and know it is not the "norm" with these types of adoptions. We will continue to hold Aiden's hand as God holds ours.